I Am What I Am

Sermon for 5 Epiphany C RCL 2/7/2010, offered by Nathan Ferrell for Trinity Episcopal Shared Ministry

Texts: Isaiah 6:1-13; Psalm 138; 1 Corinthians 15:1-11; Luke 5:1-11

God must have a sense of humor. When we look at how things work in the divine economy, how God chooses to interact with the world, there is a remarkable sense of irony in life. It’s just plain odd how things tend to work out.

Look at St. Paul. He himself states his position most clearly: “I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.”

It’s remarkable that Paul was the one whom God chose to lead the explosive growth of the church among the gentiles. Paul, who was not even one of the twelve; who never met the Lord while he was still on earth; who encouraged the persecution of the disciples and the murder of the first martyr, Stephen; who was so proud of his perfect Jewish heritage.

God sent HIM to bring the good news to the gentiles? It’s quite ironic, but this seems to the way in which God works. In theological terms, we call this the divine economy: God’s ways of keeping and directing the human household.

When I was away last weekend in New Hampshire, I had a wonderful opportunity to read a book. I don’t get to do that normally, but that’s what vacation time is for! I read an excellent biography of St. Patrick and the real story of his life.

When you move beyond all of the legends and myths and tall tales about St. Patrick, you find that there is a very interesting historical figure there. Like St. Paul, Patrick had a dramatic and momentous turning point in his life. And out of this turn of events, he was given a passion for his mission which could not be quenched. God chose Patrick to accomplish a mission which seemed quite beyond his abilities and strength.

Here is Patrick speaking in his Confession, which is his letter to the Bishops in Britain who had accused him of misconduct. He writes to defend the legitimacy of his mission. “So listen to me well, all of you,…: God chose foolish little me from among all of you who seem so wise and so expert in the law and so powerful in your eloquence. He picked ignorant Patrick ahead of all of you – even though I am not worthy – he picked me to go forth with fear and reverence – and without any of you complaining at the time – to serve the Irish faithfully. The love of Christ carried me here to be a help to these people for the rest of my life, if I may be worthy, and to work for them with humility and in sincerity” (St. Patrick of Ireland, Freeman, P. 179).

A little more context is needed also, I think, to better understand the irony here. Patrick was brought up as a wealthy Roman citizen in Britain, but he was kidnapped by the Irish while still a teenager. He was sold into slavery in Ireland and for years he tended sheep for his master. Finally, after 6 long years, God led Patrick to freedom and he returned to his parents and home in Britain. But almost immediately, God spoke to Patrick in two dreams and called him to return to Ireland as a missionary. HIM?! Why would God call him to return to that dreadful place? And to serve those people who had destroyed his childhood; who had taken away his chance to be educated, his birthright to have a good career and a prosperous future among the Roman nobility?

And yet, for reasons beyond our limited human understanding, this is how God works. Our lessons today make it so very clear.

God takes Isaiah, an unclean man, one is painfully aware of his own sinfulness, and God gives him a vision of the Triune God in holiness and sends him out to speak the word of God.

God takes Paul, the least of the apostles, one who never fit the standard mold, and God sends him on a mission which accomplished far more than all of the other apostles combined!

God calls Peter, a sinful man who so often misunderstood the Lord, and God appoints him as a catcher of people, and he becomes the rock, the leader of the apostles upon whom the foundation of the church rests.

God calls Patrick, an uneducated, broken young man who was just so glad to be back home again, and God sends him away from his home, never to return again, to serve the very people who had so badly hurt him.

This is the irony of how God chooses to operate, the Lord’s modus operandi. Martin Luther famously described God’s method in this way: God rides the lame horse and carves the rotten wood.

But the crucial point is this: the lame horse that is chosen is one which WANTS to be ridden by God, which is not content with being lame but rather WANTS to be whole and strong and swift.

The point for us to take away is not that only those who first misunderstood the Lord, or who first spent time deep in notorious sins, are the ones whom God uses to spread the Gospel. That is the wrong conclusion to draw here.

The point, I believe, is that it’s extremely rare for any of God’s servants to ever feel up to the task before them.

This is the divine economy, the way that God chooses to guide and direct our lives, and indeed this entire human experiment.

There is real encouragement here for us.
St. Paul said it so well: By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me has not been in vain. God has made us who we are, and there are times when God calls us to a specific task and duty. If you do not feel worthy or ready or adequate for this task, then know that you are in good company, in fact the best company of all.

Our job is simply to make sure that the grace of God has not been given to us in vain. Do your best, follow your conscience, ask for help, give your best effort to God, and then allow the Lord Jesus to do with it as he sees fit.

Grace is what we receive; faithfulness is what we offer. And God takes care of the rest. After all, this is God’s work, God’s mission, God’s plan. We are privileged to have some role to play in it. Amen.