Here is the link to, and the text of, an op-ed piece which I wrote and had published in The Living Church magazine back in 2005. Someone unearthed this recently through Google. It deserves an explanation, which can be found below the original piece. Please read both.
http://archive.livingchurch.org/news/news-updates/2005/9/20/throwing-in-the-collar
Throwing in the Collar
By Nathan Wilson Ferrell
There has been much talk in the Episcopal Church in recent years about the need to identify new young clergy to lead us forward into the 21st century. We have heard the statistics of how the number of ordinations has dropped steadily since 1986, while the average age of ordinands has risen steadily over the same time period. Many dioceses have begun initiatives to encourage the consideration of holy orders among young Episcopalians, and the Church has joined an ecumenical group (PLSE) to encourage young persons to join the ranks of the clergy. While there are a few young folks trying out this priestly life, by and large it is not happening on the scale needed. And so, at least in my part of the world (the Northeast), the Episcopal Church continues to shrink. The future does not look very bright from these shores. Why is this? What is happening to thwart our good intentions?
I cannot claim to be able to answer these questions authoritatively. But if we all honestly reflect upon our experiences in the Church — local parish and beyond — is it really so hard to understand the current state of affairs? Not for me. I do not know what is wrong with the Church, but I do know my own experience. I have found that there is no real support in our institutions for young persons in the priesthood.
As a young man who went into seminary right out of college, following a sincere and earnest call to pastoral leadership, my growing family has followed me into parish after parish, seeking that elusive “great situation” where we could feel fruitful. And what have I experienced in my 10 years since beginning this journey? After seminary, the Church sends people out into parish ministry to do a job for which they have received very little practical training (i.e., conflict resolution, administration, politics, etc.). Once in their jobs, there are few resources readily available to help these clergy to gain the skills needed to do these jobs well. And yet, all the while, our parishioners are evaluating and critiquing our performance (either privately or publicly) on the basis of these tasks for which we have little background. Unfortunately, there is very little support at the diocesan level if the parish priest runs into difficulty. We are for the most part on our own.
Even though we work on behalf of our bishops, we receive no real constructive feedback on our leadership from them. But we have hundreds of people in the pews who compare us constantly to the BFR (“Beloved Former Rector”), who subconsciously project their own fears and anxieties upon us, and who try to shape us to meet their expectations of what a good and faithful priest is supposed to be. (They are more than ready to tell us how to do our jobs!) For all of this, we get paid what amounts to a stipend, far below what we know our value would be in the business world. And all the while, we are expected to be the joyful, loving, smiling leader of a Christian community, doling out the warm fuzzies, thankful that we have the blessed opportunity to follow our deepest calling.
We in the Church need to be honest. The emperor has no clothes! Why would young persons want to do this for their careers? In our era of manifold options, can they not see many other possibilities that bring far greater reward and much less personal anguish? They can, and they do.
I, for one, don’t blame them. That is why it is over for me. I am putting my collar in the drawer and heading out into the business world. For 10 years my growing family has followed me as I pursued my calling and dream to be a parish priest. There have been good moments. But, by and large, what we have gained is growing debt, criticism, judgment, instability, impossible expectations, and heartbreak. I know that others have had more positive experiences, and I am glad for them. But for me, this ride is over. I cannot ask my family to follow me into another parish where we are likely to receive more of the same. But I will pray for God to restore a measure of sanity, civility, and honesty to this Church which I love so much.
The Rev. Nathan Wilson Ferrell is the former rector of Trinity Church, Topsfield, Massachusetts.
********************************************************************************
This article was written immediately after an abrupt departure from Trinity Church, due to a series of conflicts, which was a very painful experience. But even now, I would write all of it over again, except for the final paragraph. I'll come back to that one a little later.
The analysis of the overall situation is correct, I believe. We are doing a very poor job of preparing new, young priests for parish ministry. And we are not adequately training young new clergy to be effective for the actual day-to-day tasks of parish ministry. Do they know how to evaluate and manage staff? Do they know how to read a Balance Sheet and a Profit-and-Loss statement? Are they trained in effective conflict resolution strategies? These are the realities which they will have to handle if they have pastoral responsibility for a congregation. And yet, if they fall short in one of these key areas of leadership (that is, if they have disgruntled staff, or if they miss serious budget issues, or if they cannot diffuse a major conflict in the parish), then their tenure is likely to be short. Who will be there to back them up, to support them? I have never yet seen a diocese which is able to support a young priest in such a situation. The criticism from parishioners in the face of a failure such as this is likely to leave deep scars.
Is this what we want for new, young leaders in The Episcopal Church? If not, what are we doing to prevent it? The truth, unfortunately, is nothing at all.
As for the last paragraph, this is truly how I felt at that time, because I was describing my experience. I was hurt greatly by the church which I had pledged to serve - the laypeople and the hierarchy. My family and I answered the call to move into a community where I would be able to serve as the Rector for many years to come. Our hope was that this would be our children's home: the place where they grow up and have the memories of their youth. Unknown to me, there were a few serious landmines which I accidentally uncovered and detonated in a fairly quick fashion. These dealt primarily with the parish staff and with the financial support of the rector. In the midst of dealing with all of this, the Vestry undertook the most duplicitous and irresponsible "review" of a rector which I have ever witnessed. This "mutual ministry review" consisted of 8 pages of anonymous complaints from a handful of disgruntled parishioners. This review was handed to me with the expectation that I would address these complaints, even though most were based on nothing but falsehoods and rumors. By this point, I had lost my trust in the Vestry as sincere partners in ministry. It seemed clear that my family and I could no longer expect to have a long tenure in such a community.
You must realize that in the midst of this conflict in Topsfield, I called my Bishop to ask for help. This was the reply: "Nathan, there is nothing I can do. If I intervened to help you, then I would have to intervene in 100 other situations. And I cannot do that." End of conversation. As a young priest who was still a bit idealistic about the loving nature of the church "family", it came as quite a shock that, in fact, no one really cared one bit if I and my family were left out to dry, not even the Bishop.
Consider this: what is the task of a Bishop if it is not to assist a healthy, vibrant parish in its relationship with a new, young rector? Is it more important for them to write letters protesting global warming? Why must we have a system in which new clergy have no way to receive any constructive feedback from their bishops, for whom ostensibly they are carrying out their daily duties in the parish? Don't misunderstand. All of these Bishops are "nice" people, but being nice is not the same as having a plan in place for working with new clergy in transition or in conflict. And, no, Fresh Start groups do not provide this function.
Seven years later, I understand much more. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I am truly thankful for what I learned through the crisis in Topsfield and in my years in private business. While I was ready to put my pastoral ministry "in the drawer", God was not willing for me to do this. It was the Holy Spirit who called me back to the Pulpit and the Lord's Table. That much is clear to me. I am very thankful for what I have learned in the years since this article. My concern about the training and support of new, young clergy remains unchanged, and my uncertainty about the function of Bishops in the Church today. But what I have learned more than anything else is that I am called to be a parish priest. And I love it!
There has been much talk in the Episcopal Church in recent years about the need to identify new young clergy to lead us forward into the 21st century. We have heard the statistics of how the number of ordinations has dropped steadily since 1986, while the average age of ordinands has risen steadily over the same time period. Many dioceses have begun initiatives to encourage the consideration of holy orders among young Episcopalians, and the Church has joined an ecumenical group (PLSE) to encourage young persons to join the ranks of the clergy. While there are a few young folks trying out this priestly life, by and large it is not happening on the scale needed. And so, at least in my part of the world (the Northeast), the Episcopal Church continues to shrink. The future does not look very bright from these shores. Why is this? What is happening to thwart our good intentions?
I cannot claim to be able to answer these questions authoritatively. But if we all honestly reflect upon our experiences in the Church — local parish and beyond — is it really so hard to understand the current state of affairs? Not for me. I do not know what is wrong with the Church, but I do know my own experience. I have found that there is no real support in our institutions for young persons in the priesthood.
As a young man who went into seminary right out of college, following a sincere and earnest call to pastoral leadership, my growing family has followed me into parish after parish, seeking that elusive “great situation” where we could feel fruitful. And what have I experienced in my 10 years since beginning this journey? After seminary, the Church sends people out into parish ministry to do a job for which they have received very little practical training (i.e., conflict resolution, administration, politics, etc.). Once in their jobs, there are few resources readily available to help these clergy to gain the skills needed to do these jobs well. And yet, all the while, our parishioners are evaluating and critiquing our performance (either privately or publicly) on the basis of these tasks for which we have little background. Unfortunately, there is very little support at the diocesan level if the parish priest runs into difficulty. We are for the most part on our own.
Even though we work on behalf of our bishops, we receive no real constructive feedback on our leadership from them. But we have hundreds of people in the pews who compare us constantly to the BFR (“Beloved Former Rector”), who subconsciously project their own fears and anxieties upon us, and who try to shape us to meet their expectations of what a good and faithful priest is supposed to be. (They are more than ready to tell us how to do our jobs!) For all of this, we get paid what amounts to a stipend, far below what we know our value would be in the business world. And all the while, we are expected to be the joyful, loving, smiling leader of a Christian community, doling out the warm fuzzies, thankful that we have the blessed opportunity to follow our deepest calling.
We in the Church need to be honest. The emperor has no clothes! Why would young persons want to do this for their careers? In our era of manifold options, can they not see many other possibilities that bring far greater reward and much less personal anguish? They can, and they do.
I, for one, don’t blame them. That is why it is over for me. I am putting my collar in the drawer and heading out into the business world. For 10 years my growing family has followed me as I pursued my calling and dream to be a parish priest. There have been good moments. But, by and large, what we have gained is growing debt, criticism, judgment, instability, impossible expectations, and heartbreak. I know that others have had more positive experiences, and I am glad for them. But for me, this ride is over. I cannot ask my family to follow me into another parish where we are likely to receive more of the same. But I will pray for God to restore a measure of sanity, civility, and honesty to this Church which I love so much.
The Rev. Nathan Wilson Ferrell is the former rector of Trinity Church, Topsfield, Massachusetts.
********************************************************************************
This article was written immediately after an abrupt departure from Trinity Church, due to a series of conflicts, which was a very painful experience. But even now, I would write all of it over again, except for the final paragraph. I'll come back to that one a little later.
The analysis of the overall situation is correct, I believe. We are doing a very poor job of preparing new, young priests for parish ministry. And we are not adequately training young new clergy to be effective for the actual day-to-day tasks of parish ministry. Do they know how to evaluate and manage staff? Do they know how to read a Balance Sheet and a Profit-and-Loss statement? Are they trained in effective conflict resolution strategies? These are the realities which they will have to handle if they have pastoral responsibility for a congregation. And yet, if they fall short in one of these key areas of leadership (that is, if they have disgruntled staff, or if they miss serious budget issues, or if they cannot diffuse a major conflict in the parish), then their tenure is likely to be short. Who will be there to back them up, to support them? I have never yet seen a diocese which is able to support a young priest in such a situation. The criticism from parishioners in the face of a failure such as this is likely to leave deep scars.
Is this what we want for new, young leaders in The Episcopal Church? If not, what are we doing to prevent it? The truth, unfortunately, is nothing at all.
As for the last paragraph, this is truly how I felt at that time, because I was describing my experience. I was hurt greatly by the church which I had pledged to serve - the laypeople and the hierarchy. My family and I answered the call to move into a community where I would be able to serve as the Rector for many years to come. Our hope was that this would be our children's home: the place where they grow up and have the memories of their youth. Unknown to me, there were a few serious landmines which I accidentally uncovered and detonated in a fairly quick fashion. These dealt primarily with the parish staff and with the financial support of the rector. In the midst of dealing with all of this, the Vestry undertook the most duplicitous and irresponsible "review" of a rector which I have ever witnessed. This "mutual ministry review" consisted of 8 pages of anonymous complaints from a handful of disgruntled parishioners. This review was handed to me with the expectation that I would address these complaints, even though most were based on nothing but falsehoods and rumors. By this point, I had lost my trust in the Vestry as sincere partners in ministry. It seemed clear that my family and I could no longer expect to have a long tenure in such a community.
You must realize that in the midst of this conflict in Topsfield, I called my Bishop to ask for help. This was the reply: "Nathan, there is nothing I can do. If I intervened to help you, then I would have to intervene in 100 other situations. And I cannot do that." End of conversation. As a young priest who was still a bit idealistic about the loving nature of the church "family", it came as quite a shock that, in fact, no one really cared one bit if I and my family were left out to dry, not even the Bishop.
Consider this: what is the task of a Bishop if it is not to assist a healthy, vibrant parish in its relationship with a new, young rector? Is it more important for them to write letters protesting global warming? Why must we have a system in which new clergy have no way to receive any constructive feedback from their bishops, for whom ostensibly they are carrying out their daily duties in the parish? Don't misunderstand. All of these Bishops are "nice" people, but being nice is not the same as having a plan in place for working with new clergy in transition or in conflict. And, no, Fresh Start groups do not provide this function.
Seven years later, I understand much more. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I am truly thankful for what I learned through the crisis in Topsfield and in my years in private business. While I was ready to put my pastoral ministry "in the drawer", God was not willing for me to do this. It was the Holy Spirit who called me back to the Pulpit and the Lord's Table. That much is clear to me. I am very thankful for what I have learned in the years since this article. My concern about the training and support of new, young clergy remains unchanged, and my uncertainty about the function of Bishops in the Church today. But what I have learned more than anything else is that I am called to be a parish priest. And I love it!
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